Oh, it is a new year. A new year!

In my opinion the nice part about a new year is looking back at what I learned in the previous year and thinking about what God has taught me. Then, I take all that and move forward into the unknown of this year.

There’s lots of media out there about ” words for the year” and claiming one. There are even quizzes to take to lead a person to the right word. I’ve never been into the “word” thing, but lately, as I have pondered the last year or so of my life, I have heard God speaking this word to me: Rely.

re·ly/rəˈlī/verb

Definition 1. To depend on with full trust or confidence.

“I know I can rely on your discretion”

Similar: depend, count, ban,k place, reliance, bargain, plan, reckon, anticipate, expect, pin one’s hopes on, hope for, take for granted ,take on trust, trust, be confident of, have (every) confidence in, be sure of, believe in, have faith in, pin one’s faith on, trust in, cling to, swear by, figure on

Opposite: distrust

Definition 2: To be dependent on.

“The charity has to rely entirely on public donations”

Similar: be dependent, depend, lean, hinge, turn, hang, rest, pivot

This word rings in my head over and over as I look back on 2019. There were hard things in that year. And a good hard look at it all really caused me to see that in so many ways I was not relying on the One who I claim to love and follow. I relied on myself, mostly, with poor results. Let me share some:

Parenting:

In the latter part of 2018 into 2019 a shadow fell over our household due to a parenting fail on our part, especially my part. I underestimated Satan and overestimated our “good” parenting. We set boundaries and we trust our kids. We are involved in our church family and we seek to serve others. God’s Word is present in our home. And yet, vigilance is still needed at all times. I had let a boundary slip. It cost us greatly. It will have lasting consequences. The immediate reaction I had was to “up my game” so to speak. Control and control more. Make sure I had every base covered. Never let my guard down.

Relationships:

There had been some pretty significant changes to some of my relationships that were just hard. Friends that I used to gather with were busy. Friends that I used to confide in were distant. Family members that I pursued closeness with didn’t respond. It was overwhelming. Lonely. My reaction was to separate and be on my own even more. Get busy with my own thing. Not seek people. No getting my heart hurt anymore. Very aloof. Very stand off-ish.

Circumstances:

We faced a pretty big financial mess in 2019. IRS. ‘Nuff said. Dealing with the government is just not fun. Especially when the reason has nothing to do with anything on your part. So, filing paperwork over and over gets old really fast. The effects of this situation spilled over into life as we tightened up on money and made budget adjustments. My husband works hard and doesn’t want to cause me any worry. But, I worry. And I worried a lot in 2019. It affected our home life as I feared that each dollar we spent was digging us further into a mess. As a worried woman, I was a grumpy wife and mom.

That’s my legacy for 2019. Not pretty.

There was a whole lot of ” trust myself” and “fix it myself” in the year and not a whole lot “trust God” and “let God work.”

And as I have thought about the year behind me I can see that I was relying on myself and what I thought I needed to do to make everything just right. It was not a year of victory. Not at all. And before Thanksgiving, into Christmas, and now into this new year God has been whispering to me, “Rely on Me.”

Before 2020 rang in, I sensed a shift happening in me. A calmness was growing. I had taken some serious time in November and December to dig into my Bible more. Pray more. Praise more. Be with my God more. And I took time to look past the failures of 2019 to see the small victories that were present: deeper talks with our children about faith and following God and how to live in this world, church family who picked up where the missing pieces were, simpler living.

God is faithful.

I know that 2020 will come with its own challenges. I know there are situations that are not resolved from the previous year.

But I also know that I don’t step into a new year alone. I have a mighty God, a faithful Father, a forever Friend who loves me and is there to rely on. I am not on my own.

In John 15:1-8, Jesus says:

 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. ³ You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. ⁴ Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶ If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷ If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸ This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

To remain is to stay put, to abide, to rely. That’s what I want to do this year. I want to rely, for God’s glory.

Have you claimed a “word” for your year? Feel free to share! I pray that you will be yielded to God’s work in your life as 2020 rolls on!